so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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