I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize