Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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