her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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