You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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