i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize