saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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