he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize