Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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