Are we in a gay sports bar?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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