his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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