WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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