Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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