I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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