He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize