We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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