One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize