No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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