After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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