Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize