He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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