Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize