dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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