ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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