I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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