i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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