I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize