Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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