Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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