She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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