i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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