YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize