Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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