ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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