I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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