I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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