She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize