She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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