remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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