No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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