Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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