i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its not stalking. its research.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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