I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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