I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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