Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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