When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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