New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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