Got a toothbrush?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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