I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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