O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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